"I like naked women. I'm a bloke. I'm supposed to like them. We're born like that. We like naked women as soon as we're pulled out of one. Halfway down the birth canal we're already enjoying the view."...a quote from someone called Steven Moffat...
Divorce: The past tense of marriage...
Marriage is a meal where the soup is better than the dessert...
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup,whenever you're wrong, admit it;whenever you're right, shut up.
No man expects a great deal from marriage. He is quite satisfied if his wife is a good cook, a good valet, an attentive audience, and a patient nurse.
If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest...
Give up all hope of peace so long as your mother-in-law is alive.
Two mothers-in-law. ~Lord John Russell, on being asked what he would consider a proper punishment for bigamy
A perfect marriage is one in which "I'm sorry" is said just often enough.
The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin...~Honore de Balzac
Never marry for money. Ye'll borrow it cheaper.
A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.
It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.~Benjamin Disraeli
Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you.
Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
Home cooking: where many a man thinks his wife is.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
So heavy is the chain of wedlock that it needs two to carry it, and sometimes three.
One of the best things about marriage is that it gets young people to bed at a decent hour.
So here's an important tip if you want to be happier and have happier relationships: Stop expecting your partner to be perfect. When it comes to relationships, nobody's perfect! If you do nothing else, just remember that point and you'll be well on your way to improving not just your relationship with you partner, but all relationships. Look, we all carry with us our own version of the world and how it should be. We each have our own past experiences that effect how we react to everything and everyone around us. You and I are both completely unique. And we won't see eye-to-eye on all sort of things. The key to improving your relationship is to understand the person you're in a relationship with. And that's FINE!
True happiness Is not a mental hallucination. True happiness Is not a complacent feeling. True happiness Is the spontaneous feeling of joy That comes from knowing You are doing the right thing And leading a divine life.